whirling lunatic

let the player needle burn the grooves!
it is the record you will leave behind

a story of self discovery through portland art gallery!

as many of you have heard: it was the evening that we were walking back from my uncle's house. My mother all of a sudden felt bad, collapsed onto a chair. we got her into the car, my brother driving, me in the front seat facing back, my sister next to my mother. we are trying to make it to the nearest hospital, 30 kms away in Birecik. her repeated and more and more getting unintelligible words were that she trusted my siblings to god then me. i said what ever came to my mind that could get her attention or keep her awake. among them: my revelation about my plans for marriage that year. don't know what made me say it even! we made it to the hospital. she had a reaction to some antibiotics it seems and after a couple of hours we were on our way back home. in the morning i saw my mother in our yard, watering the flowers and walking about...said, mom you are looking better now, scared us all last night. her responce was: son, come here! you said something last night! i knew i was caught! i said mom, in the heat of the moment in our struggle to keep you awake, i said many things! she said pretending that i didn't know what she was talking about: not everything she was interested in, but somethign very specific! long story short. that was the moment I promised her that i would marry in a year or i would bray like a donkey in the center of our village! the date was july 13, 2009. i tried!

the curator of the Portland Art Gallery must have heard this all. On one of the walls I found the paintings below. You will notice that I am not in the frame even. All by myself on the side but facing the right direction.

this very moment

for the first time i felt that i could Read.

remembrance of an arctic summer night

blinded nights
chase me through the horizons
and road like a black snake
pours into my heart
in a sleep